In an episode of the Found in Estonia podcast, hosts Tiina and Kaisa sat down with Chris to unpack his decade-long, back-and-forth relationship with the country. What starts as a casual curiosity about Baltic choral culture quickly evolves into a deeper story about identity, belonging, and the lengths to which someone will go to truly integrate into a notoriously reserved culture.
“I had no idea what Estonia was in 2008,” Chris admits. Yet, a university choir tour in 2010 left just enough of an impression to pull him back a year later on a Fulbright scholarship. While he initially arrived to study e-government and cybersecurity, his true education happened entirely outside the classroom.
The real turning point comes down to a classic travel mishap: a missed morning train to a folk festival. Forced to travel alone, Chris found himself completely detached from the typical international student bubble, sparking a sudden, stubborn desire to learn the Estonian language fluently.
His approach was intensive. Chris ended up moving to Tartu to tackle a grueling, 27-credit intensive language course designed for Finno-Ugric studies graduate students, all while actively avoiding English like the plague and striking up conversations with strangers.
The episode unpacks the unique friction of trying to understand Estonians through their language, the strange charm of running in minus-15-degree weather, and why the hyper-connectivity of a small society can feel both like a blessing and a curse. It’s a fascinating glimpse of what happens when a foreigner stops living like a tourist and starts trying to truly fit into the fabric of the country.
“I’m never going to be Estonian,” Chris notes. “But I just don’t make sense in America anymore. I’m somewhere in the middle.”
See what he means by listening to the episode below:
