Question: How do you make friends with an Estonian. Answer: Drink with him for a few years and he'll open up to you.
The slogan for the Estonian ambulance service: Time heals all wounds.
An Estonian, Latvian and Lithuanian are sitting in a bar in Tallinn and after a while the Estonian asks the Lithuanian: “Is it true that Lithuanians are all unpredictable and overemotional?” “No!” the Lithuanian bursts out crying, “If you ever ask me something like that again I'll kill you!” A very uncomfortable silence follows. After a while the Lithuanian asks the Latvian: “Is it true that all Latvians are the offspring of genetic inbreeding and are all odd?” “Ha, ha, I know a song about that, which my mother taught me, who is also my cousin. The song goes like this: ‘Trallalalla, the cow's in the meadow, trallalallala' “. This is also followed by a tense period of silence. After a while the Latvian asks the Estonian: “Is it true that Estonians lack any sort of character?” “I don't know anything about that,” the Estonian says taking out his i-phone. “There's free wi-fi here. I'll look it up on Google.”
God, a slow-witted Estonian and a fast-witted Estonian are sitting around a table and playing poker. A huge pile of money is growing at the centre of the table. There's a break in the electricity and the room is suddenly pitch black. A few minutes later, electricity is restored, but the money has disappeared. Question: Who stole the money? Answer: The slow-witted Estonian. The others have plenty of imagination.
Knock, knock. Who's there. Estonia. Who?
Do you know the story of an Estonian who loved his wife so much he nearly told her so.
An Estonian gives a ride to a hitch-hiker on the road. “Is Tallinn very far?” the hitch-hiker asks. “No,” says the driver. They continue driving two, three hours. “Is Tallinn still far?” The driver replies: “Yeah, now it is.”
Why do Estonians have such sour faces? They eat too much sauerkraut.
Estonians get told a story about the subway in Tallinn. A message is announced on the public address system. “R-i-i-i-de s-a-a-a-fely. B-e-e al-e-e-e-rt. The d-o-o-o-rs a-a-are cl-o-o-o-sing. The next st-a-a-a-tion………next st-a-a-a-tion……a-a-a-a………is h-e-e-e-re.” The Estonian thinks for a while. “I get it. Tallinn…….a-a-a-a……..doesn't have a subway.”
Two Latvians are chatting with each other: “Look, a Lithuanian is standing there.” “No that's not a Lithuanian, it's an Estonian running.”
At the Black Sea resort beach, vacationers are enjoying the last bit of summer sun. Everyone is well tanned except for one. A Georgian asks him: “Hey mister, what part of the world are you from? You're so white.” The answer: “Estonia.” The Georgian: “What, don't you have any summer at all, you're so pale white?” The Estonian: “Well, we do have a summer, but I was at work that day.”
What has Estonian service to clients retained from the Soviet period? Clients are considered to be spies.
Laas Leivat
