Latvians jokes typically focus on a lingering Soviet mentality and communism, with references to a food shortage and hence, an ever-present potato.
The following non-scholarly selection of jokes is not a collection from which one can definitively conclude that, yes, Estonians are slow and hungry Latvians are desperate for potatoes.
(The peculiar grammatical style is directly from a Latvian joke collection.)
One day, Latvian is hearing of knock on door. Latvian is asking, “Who is?” Answering, “Is potato man. I come around to give free potato.” Latvian is very excite and is opening of door. Is no potato man. Is secret police.
An Estonian stands by a railway track. Another Estonian passes by in a handcar, pushing the handle up and down. The first one asks, “Is it a long way to Tallinn?” “Not too long.” The first hops on and together they work the handcar. After two hours, the first one asks, “Is it still a long way?” “Now it’s a very long way.”
An Estonian ambulance motto: Time heals all wounds. Why do Estonians have sour faces? They eat too much sauerkraut. One night in a pub, a Latvian told a joke about Estonians who are slow to react. He got a beating from an Estonian the next morning. The Estonian President to all who tell jokes about Estonian slowness: We don’t put on the brakes. You’re far over the speed limit.
“How many Latvian is taking to screw in light bulb?” Only one. Obtaining of light bulb is hard part. “You have potato?” Two Latvian look at clouds. One see potato. Other see impossible dream. Is same cloud. What are one potato say other potato? Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?
Do you know of any Estonian who loved his wife so much that he nearly told her so? All Estonians are ventriloquists. They know how to say ‘cheese’ in front of a camera without moving heir lips. How to recognize an Estonian extrovert? Instead of looking down on his own shoes, he looks at yours.
How many Latvian is take screw in Light bulb? A: 25. One screw in, 24 ride bicycle generator for 1-hour shift. But time better spend search food. Latvian handyman see farmer and say, “Your wheelbarrow sound squeaky, I fix for half potato.” Farmer angry because as he say, “This not wheelbarrow, this is wife!” What is happening if you cross Latvian and potato? A: This is cruel joke. Please no more.
Some 339 kilometers of border separate the two countries. Crossing it every day are human and commercial traffic, and jokes. Just change the ethnic identity of the main character and the story works in either direction, many of them as put-downs.
One must note, however, that in jokes about the digital world, Estonians always get the lead position. One example: An American finds cables underground during a construction excavation. He concludes that ancient Americans used telephones. A German digs down 200 metres, finds glass fibres, and claims that ancient Germans used fibre optics. This awakens Estonian curiosity. They dig down fully 2000 metres, find nothing and the world is convinced that ancient Estonians already used WiFi.
A Latvian needs to repaper his living-room. He asks his Estonian neighbour, who had just re-papered the same size room how many rolls did it take. Twelve. The Latvian finishes his repapering and has surplus rolls of paper. “Listen Arvo, I have four rolls left over.” “That’s right. So did I.”
A Latvian meets an Estonian and introduces himself, “Good to meet you, I’m Latvian.” “Nothing you can do about that. Everybody has their own problem.” A dumb blond (yes, politically very incorrect, and nasty) leaves Estonia for Latvia. The average IQ in both countries improves.
Two teams from Latvian and Estonian companies are playing soccer. After plenty of play and no score, the Estonians must return to work. The Latvians play overtime and score in 20 minutes.
Some of the back-and-forth banter is somewhat mean: What do you get when you pair a donkey and a turtle? A helmeted Latvian. Why are Estonians sad? They know their role in life is to be the butt of Latvian jokes. Latvian: What are you doing? Estonian: I’m building a house. Latvian: With how many rooms? Estonian: One. No point in building a house with fewer rooms.
