There and Back: You’re not meant to do it all alone

Everything is interconnected and, therefore, you simply cannot go at it alone. Although you may have had the assumption that you should.

Why is this coming up now? Because as Estonians, we have a very different relationship with asking for help compared to North Americans. Yes, traditionally there has been an intrinsic expectation that friends and family are supposed to help when moving, making hay, and when doing big renovations. What happens in Estonia is that the “asking” is usually not verbalized. You are expected to show up for your family for the big stuff and you do, although sometimes reluctantly. At least, that’s what I have observed.

It gets tricky, however, when it comes to things that are not as “big”. Estonians are very eager to offer their opinions on everything others do, often not even asking if the advice is welcome. I prefer the opposite approach, that’s common in North America, where you are actually asked before being given an unexpected piece of advice. So while we kodueestlased (North American Estonians born in Estonia) like to stick our noses into everyone else’s business, we are equally as eager to never ask for help ourselves. I think it’s because we don’t see our problems being significant enough to warrant help.