interview by Vincent Teetsov
In a report on the recent Baltic Cup, you’ll have noticed that a couple of husbands of Estonians were playing on the local Estonian team. Curious to get to know these players and the author of the report, I was given the opportunity to speak with Tim Sellers. Tim—an athlete and scholarly gentleman—is married to Hedy Vesk. And below, we come to understand how his wife’s culture and compatriots have called out to him.
To better understand your story, can you share your cultural background?
My father was born in Canada to English parents. My mother came from Ireland in 1928. So I’m half Irish, half Canadian, with a strong British Isles influence.
What was your upbringing like?
Traditionally British—roast beef and Yorkshire pudding on Sundays, attending Anglican Church. Being part of a broad diaspora, I lacked specific cultural touch points like Hedy does being Estonian. Toronto then was mostly white, and Anglo at that. Mind you, I met Estonians early on: Mart Käärmann and his sister Elda in kindergarten; Peter and Jaak Reichman and Tõnu Naelapea in high school at UTS (University of Toronto Schools). My parents had home renovations done by an Estonian, Mr. Varrik. By the early ‘90s, I also worked with Mihkel Jürima at the Visual Education Centre/Criterion Pictures. I’m also friends with Ene and Ken Lomp, Ingrid Poom, and Heli (Later) Vogrin.
What have been your main focuses in life?
I studied economics at Queen’s University but worked in sales, mostly in educational publishing for Nelson Canada (part of Thomson). I went all over doing this job: Australia, Singapore, Hong Kong, the UK, Portugal. Unfortunately, it didn’t last. I left in 2007 when Thomson sold the business. I then worked at the Royal Conservatory of Music as the Vice President of Sales and Marketing for the Frederick Harris Music Company and the Vice President of RCM’s examinations. But Nelson was where I met my now wife, Hedy Vesk, when she joined in 1997.
When and how did you first meet?
Hedy was a production manager, working with the printers to manufacture the books. So we were doing different things. In 1998, I asked her on a date and she said yes. In 2000, we got married.
We settled on paella, a Spanish dish, thinking it was safe. Well, when it arrived, the pan was piled so high with dill that even Hedy, who loves dill, said it was beyond belief.
(Tim Sellers)
Were you introduced to Hedy’s Estonian culture from the very beginning?
I was introduced to it slowly once we started going out. Still, even before we got married, we went to Laulupidu, in 1999. It was fantastic. We stayed at the Viru Hotell. I remember meeting Toomas Trei at Raekoja Plats. I also met Ülo Isberg, Urmas and Ene Migur, Eva Paomees—a really good friend of Hedy’s—Peeter Kopvillem, and Eva Varangu.
Whether I absorbed the traditions of Estonian culture and life, I'm not sure. But I do know this: I cannot stand dill, something Estonians seem to like. There was dill everywhere, even in the potato salad. On our first trip to Tartu, I asked Hedy what I could order that wouldn't have dill. We settled on paella, a Spanish dish, thinking it was safe. Well, when it arrived, the pan was piled so high with dill that even Hedy, who loves dill, said it was beyond belief.
It’s like the Estonian answer to cilantro.
Exactly. It’s funny you bring up cilantro because that’s another herb I don’t like.
Anyway, I’ve attended Laulupidu several times since: in 2004, in 2019, and we’re going this summer to see both Laulupidu and Tantsupidu, the parade… I just love it! I love the fact that the days are so long, how you can be out at 11:00 p.m. and it’s still kind of light outside.
You recently played on the combined Estonian-Latvian Over 40 team during the Baltic Cup. When did they recruit you?
Well, the Baltic Cup game was on March 30th, and I was recruited seven days before at a dinner with Eva Paomees’ family. I just happened to mention the Baltic Cup to Mihkel Toome (Eva’s son-in-law) and he asked “Oh, do you want to play?”
I said “I could play,” and before I knew it, he emailed Robi Trei and said “You’re on the team.” That’s all it took!
Have you been playing hockey your whole life?
Yes, and I’m playing even more as I get older, especially pond hockey.
It’s played on frozen lakes or ponds with four players per team, no goalies, no raising the puck, and wooden slot goals that are just slightly taller than the puck. My friend has a cottage up in Haliburton and in 2013 we entered into the Canadian Pond Hockey Championships’ Grey Beard Division with a team of over-50-year-olds for the first time. It was a new type of game for us, but we were all pretty good players, and ended up winning the whole thing three times over the years. We’d like to go to the World Pond Hockey Championships in New Brunswick, but haven't pulled that together yet.
Between you and your wife’s social circle, playing hockey with Estonians, and so on, has learning Estonian become a process of immersion?
Estonian is a difficult language. Even though I did go to classes at U of T a couple years ago, I couldn’t keep up. However, I’m good with numbers. So I can count. And if anyone asks, my favourite word is kakskümmend kuus (twenty-six) because when Hedy’s uncle used to live at Ehatare, he would phone me every night that the Leafs were playing, to ask me what channel the game was on. It was always on Sportsnet, channel twenty-six, so I’d say kakskümmend kuus. That’s now my answer to most everything.
One time I was waiting for my tee time at Don Valley Golf Course and I heard some people talking in a language I didn’t understand, but then one of them said something like kaks, kolm, neli, or something like that. So I asked, “Are you Estonian?” They replied, “Yeah. How did you know?” And I said, “Because I heard you say a number.” Anyways, I proceeded to drop a few names of people and they seemed to know them. It’s sort of a small community, right?
“… the whole order of service was in Estonian. But fortunately, they put in the names of the readers, and so I saw that Tõnu was a reader…”
(Tim Sellers)
More than small, I’d say it’s tight knit… and wide-ranging! Speaking of dropping names, I hear that you’ve attended Vana Andres congregation church services.
We go about once a year. That’s how I ran into Tõnu Naelapea again. Laine, Hedy’s mother, was always telling me about Tõnu’s columns in Eesti Elu. When I told her that I knew him, she said “No way!” So I explained how he went to UTS, a couple years behind me.
Anyway, we went for a Christmas service a couple of years ago, and the whole order of service was in Estonian. But fortunately, they put in the names of the readers, and so I saw that Tõnu was a reader. I don’t think I would have recognized him right away because he had really long blonde hair when I knew him. When I saw him reading, though, I knew that that was him.
Laine was interested in meeting him, so after the service, I went up and said “Excuse me, you won't remember me, but it’s Tim Sellers from UTS,” and he goes “Of course I remember you!” We started chatting, I introduced him to Hedy and Laine, and we had our picture taken.
There’s also a connection between you and another individual who’s involved in the Estonian community of Canada—Robert Zeidler. Can you explain how?
Since 1972, I’ve been an acquaintance of Robert’s sister, Kate, because she was a friend of a friend. Then, in 2010, Hedy and I ended up going on a trip to Kenya with Kate. And when I registered for that course at U of T, Rob was in my class, where I met him for the first time and we started chatting. Although, I knew his parents, and another one of his sisters, Margie.
There’s a concept among Estonians, of the “honorary Estonian”, and that term comes to mind when I think of people such as yourself and Robert. Do you feel like this title has been conferred to you?
Hedy would say I’m more involved with the Estonian community than she is, and I’m not sure why that is. I think I just find it fascinating to meet new people, learn new things, stuff like that. So, I’d say I would like to be considered an honorary Estonian. Whether I’m worthy of such recognition, is another question.
This interview has been edited and condensed.
